Helping Your Loved One with PTSD
By: Michelle Lin
When a partner, friend, or family member has post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), it also impacts their loved ones, friends, and family. PTSD isn't easy to live with and can take a heavy toll on relationships and family life. You may be hurt by your loved one’s distance, moodiness, and unpredictable behavior, while trying to provide what they need and help them recover. If you’ve encountered difficulties while helping someone with PTSD, don't feel discouraged—this is a challenging journey that is often anything but smooth. Education is essential for navigating through any mental illness, so we’ve listed ways to support your loved one with PTSD.
Understanding PTSD and Its Symptoms
The nervous system of a person with PTSD is in a constant state of alert, making them feel unsafe and relive the traumatic event repeatedly. This "survival mode" leads to uncontrollable reactions to specific stimuli, known as triggers.
Triggers
A trigger can be anything—a person, place, smell, or object—that evokes a strong, immediate reaction in someone with PTSD. It could be as direct as a veteran being triggered by sounds of fireworks or gunshots, or more indirect like specific weather conditions during which the traumatic event occurred. Triggers can also be internal, such as the emotion of fear or feeling out of control.
Responding to triggers
Nightmares, flashbacks, and panic attacks are common reactions to triggers in PTSD patients. It's important to discuss how they've dealt with triggers in the past to determine what works best. Grounding techniques, such as focusing on physical surroundings, taking deep breaths, and reminding them that flashbacks aren’t real, can help during acute stress reactions.
Being There to Support, Listen, and Communicate
If your loved one isn't talking, don't take it personally; verbal communication can be challenging for someone with PTSD. They might find it difficult to articulate their feelings, feel ashamed, or believe that no one can understand their experience. As their loved one, it's crucial to balance giving them space and encouraging them to speak when they’re ready.
Providing Companionship
There are several ways to provide companionship for someone who isn’t ready to speak about their trauma. For instance, you can invite them to engage in regular, non-PTSD-related activities such as going on a hike or seeing friends to provide a sense of normalcy, reminding them that their trauma doesn’t have the power to dominate their entire life.
Communicating your willingness to listen will also help your loved one feel less alone in the battle. Listening without judgment is key to effective communication with someone struggling with PTSD. After an intense trauma, your loved one is not looking for advice on what they could’ve done better or how to forget about everything. What they need most in order to heal is stability and safety, both on the emotional and physical levels. Therefore, expressing that you’ll always be there for them, maintaining a stable home environment (if you live with them), reminding them of their strengths, and setting up routines and future plans will help rebuild their trust in people and regain their sense of security.
Talking to Someone with PTSD
If you’ve never experienced PTSD, it can be hard to empathize with what they’re saying or to understand why the topic is circling over and over again. However, it’s important to be patient and not respond with comments such as “It wasn’t that bad” or “You can try to move on from that.” Hearing about what the person has gone through or is going through can also be extremely difficult. If you feel an intense emotional reaction while communicating, don’t let your feelings take over. Instead, provide space for their emotions and think of yourself as a channel for them to express their feelings, instead of a container for their trauma.
Taking Care of Yourself
Lastly, make sure you are doing enough to take care of yourself. If you’re stressed, your loved one with PTSD is going to be negatively affected too. Cultivate your own support system and reserve time to process your own emotions, relax, and take care of your physical needs. It is also okay to set boundaries around what you’re capable of giving to someone you care about with PTSD. Seek out professional support to ensure your loved one is getting the resources they need to recover.
For more information, visit [PTSD: National Center for PTSD](https://www.ptsd.va.gov/)
